Rough 1st Revised

The sudden impact to the back of my head was hard and unsuspected. It immediately took me off of my feet and I crashed down onto my knees. Eyes already filling with water, my hand went to the spot I was struck and there it met with a warm stickiness that was matting down my hair. Knowing full well what was now running down my fingertips I still felt compelled to look at my hand, to see if just maybe I was wrong. Through the dizzying blur that my vision had become I could see bright crimson red smears covering the hand, blood, and my blood. My vision dimed and tunneled, the house began to spin around me, and I went from my knees down to all fours as my head throbbed uncontrollably. Tiny red droplets began to slip past my ears and tumble towards the ground below.  I watched them break as they splashed down in front of me, wondering to myself what just happened. The answer, as it turned out, was I got hit in the head with a hammer. The part I don’t like to admit is, at the time I was working construction and the hammer that tried to cave in my skull was my own. And even more embarrassing is the fact that this was not the moment that taught me I needed to go back to school. Hell, worse yet, this wasn’t even the moment that taught me to get out of construction. Sometimes I’m a slow learner I guess, or maybe it was the whack to the brain that set me back? Ether way, to understand how I learned I couldn’t skip college we will need to back this story up a little.

My topic lends itself naturally to suspense, drama, and comedy, all of this falls into the entertainment purpose. Because of this, to entertain the audience with my narrative was the direction I was already headed in, and the one I wish to stick too.  So I reworked my opening paragraph a little added more detail in parts that felt a little cloudy and added a pinch more humor. It now feels better polished to me as well as a little clearer.